Mad at MySelf

I MAD AT MY SELF, NOT YOU.
I'm mad for always being nice. I'm mad for apologizing for things I didn't do. I'm mad for getting attatched. I'm mad for thinking about you but most of all, but most of all I'm mad for not hating you when I should. I want to say ‘screw you’ but I know you don’t mean to hurt me. You don’t understand. You’re naive and ignorant. Mostly that’s fine. I’m glad you don’t know what this is like. Sometimes it’s just hard to not have a loved one who is present, who listens, who asks questions and tries to understand. Sometimes I just need someone to be there for me like I have tried to be there for you on so many late nights, early mornings, and random panicked moments. I guess you’re not that person. That’s okay. I still love you. I’ll cool down in time. I'll try.